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04 December 2010 @ 02:18 pm
Bones fanfic "Can't Walk Through Fire"  

Title: Can't Walk Through Fire
Author:
adiu
Fandom: Bones
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Booth/Brennan
Rating:
PG
Summary:
He doesn’t look at her any more, not really. Brief one shot/drabble based on the promo for "The Doctor in the Photo".
Disclaimer:
I do not, in any way, profit from this story and all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s). Any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Author's note: So it's pretty much been confirmed by ED that this isn't how things are going to go down but I like happy ending, okay?

He doesn't look at her any more, not really.
Before, with just one glance he understood. But now when he looks at her, he doesn't see her. He doesn't know.
She is (metaphorically of course) falling apart and he has no idea, and it only breaks her more.

Never in her life has she felt this way. Never in her life has she ached this way.
It is exactly what she was aiming to avoid. She knows that it is all a corollary of what she has done to them.
She knows that really, he can't be held accountable. She knows that he would never set out to hurt her, but he has done it anyway.

She despises how infantile it sounds, yet she can't help but think she was right.
Love does not exist.

To speak in Booth-like terms; he spent years slowly but steadily chipping away at the barricade guarding her heart, guarding her soul and feeling.
He taught her how to feel, he showed her how to believe, he helped her understand her that sometimes, not everything is a cold hard fact.
He showed her how to let go, he taught her how to share and he taught her how to love. But then he took it all away.
He didn't fight.

He doesn't see that she is slipping further and further backwards.
She is (figuratively) rewinding.
Clinical and cold is sneaking into more than her work, and he doesn't even blink.

Nights that were once filled with Thai and laughter are now filled with solitude and emptiness.
When she goes home at the end of the day (it's getting later and later), she isn't happy.
For the first time in her life, bones are not enough.

He asks her why she is taking this case so personally.

The old Booth would have known why well before she did.
The old Booth wouldn't have to ask. The old Booth would have known what to say, how to make it all okay again.
But this man driving her home is not her Booth, he is different. And it is all her fault.

So she shatters.

"I made a mistake, I missed my chance."

At her words, he turns his gaze back to the slippery road ahead.
His posture straightens and his jaw tightens. Then suddenly he is pulling over.

The silence (bar her muffled sobs) is thick and heavy and has never been more uncomfortable.
He takes in a few long breaths and then exhales.
"You," he starts, "you cannot say things like that, Bones".

She barely hears him, but he continues, "It isn't fair. You made your choice, and now I am moving on"
She nods vaguely, desperately trying not to let the feeling of claustrophobia overwhelm her. "I know," she chokes, "I just didn't understand what I was losing".

He sighs and grasps her hand, "You haven't lost me, Bones. You could never lose me"
She's shaking her head this time, "But I have, don't you see? It's not the same, we're not the same".

"I know," is all he can say, "I know".
"I miss us, I miss you"
"Me too, Bones. We'll figure it out"

She turns away from him, because she doesn't see how. They are broken and cannot be fixed.
He manoeuvres the car back onto the road and back into the steady flow of traffic.

They are stopped at a red light on the way back to her apartment when he realises that he isn't moving on at all. By the time the light turns green, he has realised that he doesn't want to.
He walks her to her door, and holds her tight. Then he is unlocking his own front door, and finds Hannah waiting for him. "I am so sorry," he says, over and over again. But he doesn't know if she hears him because she's too busy collecting her things, and then he is alone.

He doesn't know if Bones is ready, but he doesn't mind.
He knows that someday she will be, and he's going to wait for her because he's damn sure that he won't be making the same mistake twice (or thrice).

And after tonight, he knows that she won't either.



 
 
 
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: The Naked And Famous - Girls Like You
 
 
 
Hannah: sink <3_nigella_ on December 4th, 2010 06:03 am (UTC)
Loved this, so much, every single word.

Not that I'm crazy enough to expect this next week, but it would be amazing to see everything play out this way.
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 4th, 2010 06:19 am (UTC)
thank you so much!
I'm expecting further heartbreak, so I remedied with fiction. ;DD
makd: bones handsmakd on December 4th, 2010 07:18 am (UTC)
It's for seasons like this that fanfiction exists. It really helps ease the aching in our hearts when our beloved characters act so...out of character.

Nicely done.
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 4th, 2010 09:42 am (UTC)
thank you, I completely agree with everything you said.
Christina ^_^: bones--bar overlapwritingherhope on December 4th, 2010 08:01 am (UTC)
This. This...this is amazing! I can't really describe my feelings, and I've never really gotten that part right when it comes to reviewing, but this. this...wow such a small fic but uber powerful. every word.
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 4th, 2010 09:43 am (UTC)
Haha me neither.
I'm not so good with words (which is why I could only manage something so short) so I get where you're coming from!
(Deleted comment)
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 4th, 2010 07:34 pm (UTC)
ty bb ♥
I have way too much time on my hands, arpx two months... so I probably will.
Always distant. Always silent.: Robin Hood - Isabella: Fear in my mindthemirrorofsin on December 4th, 2010 02:23 pm (UTC)
oh my!
That was achingly good!
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 5th, 2010 10:18 pm (UTC)
thank you so very much!
mamamiaumamamiau on December 4th, 2010 02:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, if only!

Very nicely written, and very plausible in my opinion.
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 5th, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC)
I was worried that it didn't sound very realistic so thank you.
huroniahuronia on December 4th, 2010 03:39 pm (UTC)
This was so lovely - and why I read fanfiction. It is the wonderful ending we all want to see, even though we know this is not how it will happen.
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 5th, 2010 10:18 pm (UTC)
I know, it's sad isn't it? :(
and thank you!
Ana: Happyikeeptrying on December 4th, 2010 04:54 pm (UTC)
Yes. That. Write more please. :)
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 5th, 2010 10:19 pm (UTC)
I'm planning on it!
Emirishfairy913 on December 4th, 2010 05:43 pm (UTC)
This was A-MAZING! I am speechless by its beauty. You did a WONDERFUL job with this. YOU should replace some of the current writers "Bones" has got! I think then, we'd all be happy. :) A wonderful imagining of the "aftermath of the promo"! Cheers.
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 5th, 2010 10:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, comments like these make me want to keep on writing and writing. ♥
areth_lovejoyareth_lovejoy on December 5th, 2010 11:09 pm (UTC)
This was great! Not at all how canon will go, but I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 5th, 2010 11:17 pm (UTC)
I know, I wish it would though. :(
klutzy_girlklutzy_girl on December 6th, 2010 08:15 pm (UTC)
Loved this fic!
sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 9th, 2010 12:08 am (UTC)
thank you so much!
serendipity730 on December 8th, 2010 03:40 am (UTC)
Beautifully written!
Hi there -

I found this well written and realistic. This could not be more true -

"He asks her why she is taking this case so personally.

The old Booth would have known why well before she did.
The old Booth wouldn't have to ask. The old Booth would have known what to say, how to make it all okay again.
But this man driving her home is not her Booth, he is different. And it is all her fault."

I am really nervous about this week's episode. Thanks for giving us a happy (yet realistic) ending!

sophie: bones - naughty corneradiu on December 9th, 2010 12:08 am (UTC)
Re: Beautifully written!
thank you! I wish it would go this way.